The Lovely Bones

This could possibly be the most annoying character in cinema history

Saoirse Ronan in a scene from the film

So I just came home from a bizarre cinema experience. My friend Callum & I decided to go see a film tonight that goes by the name of The Lovely Bones. What made us want to go see this? Well, feeling rather spontaneous I decided to pick a movie that I hadn't heard anything about (seeming as Fantastic Mr Fox couldn't be shown any later than 5:30pm), so I watched the trailer for The Lovely Bones and thought, "Eh, this couldn't be too bad. It actually looks quite interesting and Mark Wahlberg and Rachel Weisz are in it and usually they make good choices."

So Callum & I headed down feeling a little weary about my choice but ended up sticking to it. Possibly the best thing about this movie wasn't anything to do with the movie, it was that fact that Callum and I got the whole cinema to ourselves. Mobile phones were answered, running about the room and trying the front seats out were only a few of the things we took advantage of.

I'm getting carried away, let me review this piece of bullshit film shall I!

So apparently what we're meant to take from this film is a number of things, such as, there is a spiritual place between earth and heaven where young dead girls can be all wise and tell you all about it and life, etc. And we must embrace life and enjoy every moment, and even our young, dead character says to us at the end, "May you live a long and happy life."

Seriously, it couldn't be more perfect that Callum and I got the cinema to ourselves because it enabled us to shout out how bullshit the storyline was. We didn't care about this spiritual placein between the two worlds. We just wanted to get to the murder mystery stuff!

But this film was not about that. It wanted to provide comfort to its audience using bullshit theories.

This movie just frustrated me. Fortunately I could scream at the screen and say how pathetic it all was. The only scenes that I actually enjoyed was watching the drunken, smoking, Grandma with a sense of humour (Susan Sarandon). But unfortunately there wasn't enough of her in the film so it didn't stimulate me enough.

Well I think I made my point.

Rating: 0.5/5